Monday, June 2, 2008

Day 7

I think on most blogs, people tend to only show the best sides of themselves. People want to read things that are encouraging, motivating, etc. I know I definitely try to keep it positive on my other blog and highlight the good and the happy and the simple, rather than the struggles...though I do talk about those too, from time to time. However, for me, it is different with food blogs. There, I want to hear reality. I want to see success, but I also want to know that other people are just like me, struggling, having to fight for it, yet persisting anyway. So, this blog probably seems to have a much different tone to it than my Happy at Home blog. I don't have split personalities, I am just filtering differently. :)
I admit, a large part of me only wants to record my triumphs, my feelings of excitement, my weight loss. But that isn't a very accurate portrayal of who I am, or how this is going all the time. So, with all that being said, please bear with me on days like today.

As you can see below, as of today, I have GAINED 1/2 a pound. I don't get it, I really don't. Except for yesterday, I have written down every bite of food that has entered my mouth for the last seven days. I am feeling very, very down about this today. I am sure a lot of my discouraged attitude today is because of the three hours of sleep I am working with, coupled with very cranky children (who have had about as much sleep) and a loooong to-do list.
The scale is bumming me out. I had three different people yesterday tell me that they could tell I was losing weight...that they could see a big difference. And it was people who I am not close to, but who see me often. And, I feel thinner. I really do. I felt the best yesterday that I have felt in a looooong time. So, what could it be? The only two things I can think of are:
-Weaning. Maybe I am eating too much food, now that I am almost done nursing. Maybe my body is holding on to fat during this transition. I don't know. Does anyone have any thoughts about weaning and weight loss?

-I have been doing light yoga and strength training (lunges, squats, planks, push ups, etc) for the last two weeks and have been "feeling the burn" about 3x a week. Could this be why I feel thinner but weigh more? I can't imagine that I have put on two pounds of muscle in the last two weeks, but maybe (?)

You know, what it all boils down to is this: it is a total bummer that I am not losing weight and is a big area of struggle for me right now. I am trying very hard to lose weight. But God is sovereign in this, just like he is with every other aspect of my life. I must be faithful with what I have been given, taking responsibility to take care of myself, but beyond that, have to trust that this is where He has me right now. Complaining and whining about my situation just shows a lack of faith. And, in the big scheme of things, this is just a small bump in the road. So, it is time to pull out an old exercise that always brings things back into focus (thanks, Mom, for reminding me to do this!). Here is a short Gratitude list of things that are RIGHT in my life. I am going to choose to focus on these things and be thankful, while continuing to make wise food choices.

Today, I am thankful for:
-My hubby, for getting my oil changed, so I don't have to sit in a mechanic's waiting room with three children
-My mom, for reminding me to be thankful, and for keeping my kids for a while today, so I can work on my to-do list
-My baby, cranky though he is today. He is almost one and is one of the highlights of my life. How could I not have known him a year ago? Crazy.
-Wonderful friends. I have received two emails today, that have encouraged me and challenged me with truth. Becky H. and Sara J., THANK YOU.


Starting Weight: 159

Current Weight: 159.5

Today's Exercise: None

Today I ate:
-Fresh blueberries, gRAWnola, honey
-Blueberries
-1/4 apple
-1/2 piece of pizza
-2 cupcakes
-Fruit salad (blueberries, strawberries, grapes, pineapple, apple)

Observations: I wasn't very hungry today, until Bauer's birthday party. I really didn't eat very much today. My very favorite food of all time is fresh blueberries, and I was able to pick just enough off Mom and Dad's bushes to make a meal today. I could eat blueberries in everything, they are SO good! And, lucky me, they are one of the healthiest foods available and are chock full of anti oxidants!
Social situations are definitely a pitfall for me. For the party, I made a huge salad, as well as a fruit salad that I should have doubled because everyone loved it, ordered pizza, with cupcakes for dessert. So, 50% of the meal was raw. I did eat a lot of the fruit salad, but completely ignored the regular salad. I didn't actually eat a piece of pizza...just nibbled on some of the left over's on my children's plate (a mom's pitfall, isn't it?). But the cupcakes did me in. They were chocolate! I rest my case...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of your growth and maturity! I've seen your eating habits change so much over the last few months. The biggest thing you've stopped doing is grazing in my pantry as soon as you walk through the door. You're much more aware now of when and what you eat. Three of the "fruits" of the Spirit are peace, perseverance, and patience. This is a spiritual battle as well as a physical one. Keep looking to the Father for sustenance and He will bring you to your perfect weight. Your Mama

starr said...

I just started a raw food diet (well, I don't particularly care for that word, so let's use "lifestyle.) May 20...just last month. I started being a raw foodie because of female health issues (you can see on my blog too.) I also was a nursing momma - 15 months - and it took quite some time to drop that last 10-or 15 lbs. Stick with it! I have found in the last few weeks that it's made our family feel better too - we had some creative foods this weekend and everyone enjoyed it. Good luck and let's stay in touch!

starr said...

I just started a raw food diet (well, I don't particularly care for that word, so let's use "lifestyle.) May 20...just last month. I started being a raw foodie because of female health issues (you can see on my blog too.) I also was a nursing momma - 15 months - and it took quite some time to drop that last 10-or 15 lbs. Stick with it! I have found in the last few weeks that it's made our family feel better too - we had some creative foods this weekend and everyone enjoyed it. Good luck and let's stay in touch!

simplelifemoments said...

Thanks for being real... hope you keep it up... I'm "rooting" for you. I love BOTH you blogs and can SO relate to many of the things you blog about. Katrina

charlotte carroll said...

hey! I just wanted to remind you that getting enough sleep is a big factor in loosing weight. I never loose weight until I quite breastfeeding and start getting a good amount of sleep.

oh.. how is your water intake? that is also crucial! as well as portion control.

All proactive things you can add to maybe see results faster but!... you just persevere! I know we'll be taking a beach day in a bathing suit soon! LOVE YOU!

Misti Aldrich said...

I'd have to agree with Charlotte, sleep is a huge factor. I've noticed at nights that I get the munchies and usually just pick at everything in sight(....and in the cupboards because ...yeah...I open them looking for something, so it's all in sight!) I try to realize that I'm doing it and then just go to bed. If it's a blood sugar issue and you need to eat, that's a different story, but for me if I actually feel hungry, I'll drink a glass of milk and go to bed. Just a thought. If you are getting adequate sleep, the better you'll feel about everything. That's my mantra for life. I always find if I'm extremely depressed or have the blues, I need a nap, or just to go to bed early.

Take care! love your old friend...M

Nicole said...

I would say, chuck the scale all together (or consider weighing yourself only once a week) and focus on the goal of eating raw (which is your actual goal). The benefits of being mindful of what you put in your body will pay off in many ways much more important than weight. (Although, I have no doubt your weight will go down in the end) Also, just from your list it sounds like you are eating a lot of fruit, which also contains a lot of sugar. I am guessing that if you are eating raw, eating lots of fruit is important. Rather than cutting back on the fruit, could you add more protein to that fruit. Like a handful of raw nuts with your smoothie?

Regardless, you are on your way to healthier living which is EVERYTHING.