Monday, July 21, 2008

HERE I AM...ALL 159 POUNDS OF ME...

So, it's depressing to have to turn my ticker thingy back to 159...right back where I started, what, two months ago? I still have 30 pounds to lose. There are so many different ways I could go about this, so many different opinions and thoughts on weight loss. You know, I have been here before. I have been at this weight, and have lost those last 30 pounds that haunt me. I know it can be done, and I know I can do it. It's just a matter of actually doing it.

This is a mixed bag for me. One the one hand, this is one of the most frustrating, unexpectedly hard areas of my life. I NEVER had a weight problem, until I had children. I was always the skinny one growing up. I was athletic. I was healthy. I ate good foods. But, every time I am pregnant, I pack on the pounds and it is excruciatingly hard to get them off...and it seems to be harder each time. But, on the other hand, I admit, this extra weight hanging around DOES serve as a constant reminder of so many good things that I have in my life...money to buy food, good foods to eat...we have abundance. And I am really thankful for that. But, it is time to enjoy the abundance in moderation.

I eat really well. By that, I mean that I eat really healthy foods, for the most part...there are the date night indulgences and such, but day to day, I eat really well. I eat a high raw diet because that is what I enjoy eating. Lots of fresh fruits, salads, hummus, etc. But, I am not a raw foodist. I really like my cooked foods too, especially home made breads and vegetables. Roasted vegetables are so yummy. I don't drink any juices, cokes, coffees, etc. I do have sweet tea sometimes, if we are at a restaurant. I don't eat much dairy. I eat very little prepackaged or processed foods. Of course, I do have my weaknesses. Homemade caramel popcorn and oatmeal cookies being two that come to mind. I don't have them every day, or even every week, but I do have them often enough that they qualify as weaknesses. :)

The exercise aspect has been severely lacking this summer. I have gone to the gym with Stacy pretty often...sometimes we have really worked hard. But I don't go regularly and I haven't been running. I am just not willing to run in 95+ weather and I haven't been disciplined enough to get up early and go. Here is the thing about me and exercise. If I am going to the trouble of working out, especially at the gym (getting the kids dressed, paying the money, driving to the gym, etc.), then by golly, I am going to make it worth it. And I will bust my tail while I am there. Like, running for an hour at 10% incline doing a 8 minute mile. And then doing an hour step class. But, I don't do it regularly.

Anyway, here is what I am doing now. I am going to post regularly again, at least until we go to Jamaica (mid-August). Probably not every day, but several times a week. I am only going to record my weight once or twice a week. I get too discouraged when I weigh every day and see those small fluctuations. I am going to continue to count points, mostly for portion control. I really eat off the Core plan (fruits and veggies, whole grains, low fat dairy, lean meats), but will use the Flex plan for the portion control. I will continue to eat high raw, and am also going to try to eat less sugar and foods that turn to sugar. As for exercise, I think I may try to start running in the early morning, twice a week. And, one day a week, probably Saturday morning, go to the gym with Stacy for step class and yoga.

As always, this is ever changing, depending on what else is happening in our lives, and what is working and not working food wise.
And, I am not going to be a martyr about this. Yes, I REALLY want to lose weight, but it is not the end all, be all of my life. A few things, weight/health related, that I am thankful for:
-That I have already lost 50 pounds! Yay!!
-That I live in an area of the world where delicious, fresh produce is readily available for a reasonable price
-That I do not have any serious health problems. Other than my struggle with losing the rest of this weight, I am very healthy.
-That I have been able to carry and deliver three healthy children
-That my family and friends love me, whether I weigh 130 pounds, or 220 (my weight when I delivered my second child. Yikes!)

4 comments:

Andrea said...

Laurel,
I love to read about your journey!!
I am wanting to eat better and excercise more if only for some more energy. i wish I was as brave as you to post it online...you go girl!!
I think it's good you have narrowed down what works for *you*. I could never go all raw, I enjoy warm food. And warm food is good for my body type. (I think i'm a pitta, or something like that...haha...goes to show you how much I know!) anyway. I want to eat better, but not to lose weight and not to go raw. So just you writing out your thoughts here motivates *me*. Keep doing it! :) love, andrea

Melissa said...

I love your positive, thankful list!!

Gray Matters said...

I love your courage. Our journey's are similar - I'm encouraged by your attitude and willingness to share.

hollygg said...

I'm right there with you girl! I'm such a yo-yo dieter/exerciser. I'm determined to do better. Are you going to 180?

Yes, we love Fripp...we go as often as possible!!